Despite being a known atheist, homosexual and sexual degenerate, God announced Monday that He will be allowing the former WHAM lead singer to enter the pearly gates. "Wake me up before you go, go is a classic," the all-knowing, all-powerful deity said to the saints. "But it's even better live."

God then handed this message down to the Pope. "The secret to getting into heaven is your belief in Jesus as your Lord and Savior. And while George did not make any overt references to the bible, and wore a cross ironically, he did make a catchy tune called Faith."

Rumors that George Michael will be released from the all-consuming pain that surrounds him every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year in hell, began when God mentioned to Moses how George could have pumped out at least another 1-2 albums had he not gotten off track getting caught masturbating at the movie theater. "I am all-seeing God and even I had to look away. But now he will be ready to crank out some pop hits combined with a steller choreographical interpretation. "Pain is really good to get the creative juices flowing you know."


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